Words….Witticisms…Whimsy…Whatever!

Of all the kinds of asshole there are in the world, I have decided that the worst kind are the fucking crazy kind.

Tonight my dad and I had just set off for a bike ride, enjoying the unseasonably cool July weather. The local trail system goes right past his neighborhood, so we jumped on and headed off, riding through a nearby park ready to cruise toward downtown. We had to cross a major road, but they have done a pretty decent job trying to make the crossing as safe as possible. The light was red when we got there. We waited for the walk signal, and then set off in the crosswalk. Unfortunately, the jackwagon in the monster truck also waiting at the light decided not to yield the right of way, and came alarmingly close to running me down in his impatience to turn the corner. I shouted and stopped; he stopped. When I realized it was safe to cross, I started up again. As he turned behind us, he yelled at us. The car behind him yelled at us also. When the driver of the truck yelled “fuck you” at us, my dad yelled it back. We had the right of way, asshole.

What happened next was truly frightening. Mr. Crazy Asshole drove across a four-lane road, off the road, across the grass, to cut us off on the trail, where he got out of his truck and approached my dad (who was ahead of me) yelling profanities. Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t remember what he called my dad…an old fucker, maybe? So, yeah, nice job respecting your elders (or just other humans). He definitely called me a fucking cunt. That’s an unspeakable word in my world, so to casually toss that off at a stranger, I’m thinking you have some issues. And perhaps the most insane part was one of the things he screamed at us was that it had been a mistake and what did we want him to do about it now? Um…how about not go completely insane and threaten us? At some point he decided he’d accomplished whatever he set out to do and got back in his truck and drove off.

I’ve had people yell at me on my bike before, but never anything like this. I just don’t understand why people get so angry at the mere presence of bicycles. We weren’t even riding IN the road, just wanted to cross it to ride on the goddamn trail. And unbelievably, when we were riding home and crossing at that same intersection, the oncoming turning car did yield the right of way (thank you, person!) and the car behind her leaned on the horn. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Fortunately everything in between was uneventful and fun.

I told some friends about it when I got home and one shared that she carries pepper spray when she rides. That’s really not my style, but neither is getting verbally assaulted by nutbags.

And I will say this: adrenaline makes me pedal fast.

Share-Road-Sign-K-4296

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Comments on: "Share the road, motherfuckers!" (10)

  1. John Stein said:

    Well put. 🚲

    Sent from my iPhone

  2. Kristin H said:

    Holy fucking shit. I carry pepper spray when I run; now I’ll take it on the bike trail too. I like to think it’s only a matter of time before deranged assholes like that win a Darwin award.

  3. OMG! What an incredibly terrifying story! I know the road you’re describing, and I can visualize what and where he went berzerk, and that makes me even more appalled. Did anyone else on the road seem to be aware of what was happening? Was anyone preparing to come to your aid? I admit, I am considerably more careful than I used to be while driving not to take out my frustrations by verbally responding to crazies or incompetents. I’ve had people—make that “men”—go a little wild when I’ve shot them a dirty look and mouthed obscenities, and it is frightening enough when they just yell back and cut me off. I mean, how threatening am I, a chubby Birkenstock-wearing senior in a Volvo, for god’s sake. Well, I’m glad both of you are okay—and I think pepper spray is a good idea.

    • That’s what I was thinking – seriously, dude, you’re going to pick a fight with US? How threatening or even capable do we look? (No offense, Dad.)

      I’m not actually sure what was transpiring out by the road, if anyone was there to help us or not. I don’t actually think there was anyone. 😦

  4. b.stein01@comcast.net said:

    Wow! This is scary, Wendy. This will NOT keep me from worrying when you’re biking! And to think he finally apologized –

    • Oh no. He didn’t apologize. Somewhere in his ranting he acknowledged it had been a mistake when he almost hit me – kind of. But there was no apology anywhere, just lunatic rage.

  5. You were face-to-face with insanity, Wendy. I am glad you and John are okay, though obviously shaken. I’ve been run off the road (purposefully) by drivers when I’ve been running, even if I’ve gotten off onto the berm. I carry both pepper spray and my phone (handy for videos/photos for the police, if necessary). Wouldn’t it be cool if a giant foot from space crushed a dude like this during his insane rant…

  6. Grooper said:

    INSANE! I am so sorry this guy (who clearly has a small penis) took his frustrations with life out on you and your father. However, I’m glad it didn’t get worse. I have had people honk and curse at me for walking with the right of way across an intersection, it’s not just bikes. This actually makes me want to ride my bike all over downtown challenging people to say something to me. The world is full of idiots.

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