Words….Witticisms…Whimsy…Whatever!

Posts tagged ‘Shoes’

What’s on tap?

Until yesterday, I had never taken a dance lesson ever my life, unless you count things like when you’re forced to square dance in gym class in grade school.

Oh my god, that is a total lie. Before we were married, my ex-husband (of course, he was my fiancé then – I really get tripped up on terminology talking about someone whose status has changed) and I took ballroom dance lessons for about a year. I can do approximately two steps in each of the following: waltz, fox trot, cha cha, rumba, samba and polka. I can do maybe six swing steps – enough to show off at weddings. I can’t believe I forgot about that.

Let me try this again. I never took dance lessons as a kid. I’m not necessarily what you would call coordinated, or full of rhythm. And it wasn’t anything I had a burning desire to do.  I tried (and quickly abandoned) gymnastics, took lessons and played lots of tennis, went to photography and journalism summer programs, but don’t ever recall asking for dance lessons. (You’re welcome, Mom.)

As an adult, I have developed a fascination with tap. I just think it’s super cool. How can you not love the click click click?  So when Sunshine emailed some of the girls and asked who might be interested in exploring tap lessons, I was STOKED. Me, me, pick me, I’ll do it!!!!! I don’t even know what sparked the idea for her, but I’m so glad it was tap she wanted to try and not….anything else.  A crew of 5 brave souls was assembled. We purchased shoes. (I AM GOING TO WEAR THEM EVERYWHERE!!!!) And last night, we had our first class with Miss Anna.  (I’m not 100% positive her name is Anna. Let’s just say it is….nope, it’s Donna. Sorry Miss Donna!)

I was stupidly excited as I cruised across town to the school where our class is. How often do you get to do something new and goofy and fun, with a gang of cool peeps? Not often enough, in my world.

It was such a hoot; I had a total ball, and I can’t wait till next week’s class. As soon as I got home I put my shoes back on so I could bop around the house practicing what we’d learned. And fucking it up horribly. 😉  I’m really good at pretending I know how to tap, though. Just ask Ruby. I can make a lot of clatter with my tap shoes. I’m pretty sure that’s a sign I’m going to be awesome. Plus, tap dancers often look kind of stiff and awkward in their upper body, and I already have that part down pat. I’m totally a natural. 😛  In fact, I’m so good at holding my upper body still – some might say clenched – that my neck and shoulders were totally stiff and sore. I think it was from concentrating so. dang. hard. on what my feet were doing.

Anyway, this is my new adventure. I’ll keep you posted on when and where we’ll be making our big performance debut – bwahah!

Jon, one of the troupe members (yes, we’re a troupe goddammit!), sent me this video. I’m pretty sure this is where I’m headed. Ruby is a little more dubious.

 

(Can you believe how patient that dog must’ve been to learn that????)

Tap on, my friends!

Advertisements

Things that annoy the crap out of me

  • People who slow down wayyyyyy too much for speed bumps. (As in, almost to a standstill.)
  • The french fries at Steak n’ Shake
  • Nicki Minaj
  • Raspberry seeds. Also, when I get obsessed trying to dislodge a raspberry seed, and I keep trying even when it’s long gone.
  • When I forget that my bra has a teeny, tiny hole in it that allows the underwire to stab me.
  • Anytime someone on a reality TV show references his/her “journey”. Unless it’s The Amazing Race, where they are, in fact, “traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time,” as in the actual definition of the word. Not when they are idiots going on fake dates or quasi-famous people learning to dance.
  • When I don’t throw away the bra with the teeny, tiny hole in it, putting it away to wear again someday.
  • People who treat Facebook like Twitter
  • Twitter
  • When autocorrect changes an ACTUAL WORD to another, no more superior, actual word. (Examples: gave/have, toes/ties, dog/dig)
  • That the laces on that one pair of cute black shoes won’t stay tied. It’s actually just the right shoe. WHY won’t it stay tied??
  • People who talk excessively about gluten.
  • People who are late for yoga on a regular basis.
  • My stupid flipper-shaped size 10.5 feet.
  • The fact that women’s shoes run in half sizes until you get to size 10, at which point they only come in whole sizes.
  • Nicki Minaj. I know. I already said that. But seriously.
  • That some passwords have to be no more than 8 characters long and some have to be at least 13 and some have to have special characters and some canNOT have special characters. How on earth are we supposed to remember which is which is which?
  • When people don’t turn on the turn signal until they’re already turning. It’s so I know you’re going to turn, not that you already are turning – I have eyes.
  • People who invade my space bubble.
  • People who say “wah lah” when they mean “voila”.
  • Couples who share a Facebook profile. Or an email address. Um, hi. Codependent much? THEY’RE FREE. Get your own, you lazy bastard. You’re married, not conjoined.

This list is by no means exhaustive. I’m confident I’ll think of five more things as soon as I hit “publish”. 😀   And I promise I’m not really a cranky bitch; I just needed to share.  (Plus, Nicki Minaj is dreadful and like nails on a chalkboard.)  What’s’ on YOUR list?

Who is shoe fan?(A story in pictures)

Ok, so something fun happened the other day. And a little odd, but mostly fun.

I got a package in the mail. I wasn’t expecting anything. The return address simply said, “shoe fan”. Hmm, curious.

 

 

Inside, I found a custom-printed card.

 
With a lovely, mysterious message.

 

 

And underneath the card I found this.

 

 

Which caused me to do this.

 

 

And then this.

 

 

But mostly just this.

 

 

Here it is in its new home.

 

Hoops & YoYo sure seem impressed by it.

I wish I could tell Shoe Fan

 

This will have to suffice. But know that you made my day with your funanigans. 😀